Tag Archives: Lists

Things I have googled since starting to teach myself to cook two weeks ago

By melindataub | Published: November 10, 2009
How to make scrambled eggs Should rice foam (answer: yes, especially if you didn’t rinse the dish soap out of the pot) Onion crying Reduce onion cutting pain Onion goggles How to clean mushrooms Do mushrooms always look dirty Pictures of mushrooms Water won’t boil Are chili powder and curry powder different Coconut curry Simple coconut curry Coconut curry for beginners Phone number Ollie’s Noodles
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New Halloween urban legends for today’s paranoid parents

By melindataub | Published: October 28, 2009
When I was a kid my parents, like everyone else’s parents, diligently spent hours going over my Halloween candy with a magnifying glass to make sure no one had stuck a needle through my Mars bars. Every parent knew they had to do this because it was an accepted fact that hundreds of kids died [...]
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Selected lines from Bar and Bat Mitzvah speeches from the year 2095

By melindataub | Published: October 27, 2009
Today I am a man. For my parent-designated operators have finally upgraded my hardware to include the phallo-pak 9000 just like I’ve always wanted. So maybe it would be more accurate to say that today I am an android with recently installed male genitalia. Young Jews today face many challenges. A lot of us [...]
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Things I contemplated doing on the subway when I was running late, and whether I ultimately did them

By melindataub | Published: October 26, 2009
Did it Decided against it Eating cupcakes Frosting cupcakes Applying lipstick Brushing teeth (I had this whole plan, see, where I would stick my head in a paper bag and spit in an empty orange juice bottle and no one would be the wiser) Putting hair in bun Spraying hair [...]
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Hit songs on the bear charts

By melindataub | Published: October 10, 2009
Honey Honey If You Like It Then You Should Have Put A Tracking Collar On It (Don’t Matter if You’re) Black or Grizzly When a Bear Eats a Woman Party in the Woods in the USA Oops! I Ripped Open Your Cooler Pandy (by Beary Manilow) I Kissed a Girl Bear My Twitter followers got a sneak peek at this bear content. [...]
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President Obama’s Healthcare Speech Was Not the First Time Congressman Joe Wilson Spoke Truth to Power

By melindataub | Published: September 10, 2009
You probably know that Obama’s healthcare address was heckled last night by Congressman Joe Wilson (R-SC). What you may not know is that Congressman Joe Wilson has a long history of telling it like it is, even if the “man” doesn’t want to hear it. For example: 1. Congressman Joe Wilson’s mother tells him there is [...]
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