SCENE: HEAVEN, THE DAWN OF CREATION.
GOD Okay, monotheistic religions. On the count of three, everybody claim what your clergy will have to give up in My name. One–two–
ISLAM Pork!
JUDAISM Pork!
ISLAM Jinx! Buy me a coke.
ZOROASTRIANISM Viability in a post-industrial world!
Judaism buys Islam a coke.
ISLAM Ahh. Thanks. No hard feelings, right?
GOD Okay, Judaism, your clergy will give up eating the flesh of a single specific mammal. Islam, ditto. Hmm, the only thing unclaimed on my list is–
CATHOLICISM Sorry I’m late, guys. What are we doing?
Monotheistic religions
SCENE: HEAVEN, THE DAWN OF CREATION.
GOD
Okay, monotheistic religions. On the count of three, everybody claim what your clergy will have to give up in My name. One–two–
ISLAM
Pork!
JUDAISM
Pork!
ISLAM
Jinx! Buy me a coke.
ZOROASTRIANISM
Viability in a post-industrial world!
Judaism buys Islam a coke.
ISLAM
Ahh. Thanks. No hard feelings, right?
GOD
Okay, Judaism, your clergy will give up eating the flesh of a single specific mammal. Islam, ditto. Hmm, the only thing unclaimed on my list is–
CATHOLICISM
Sorry I’m late, guys. What are we doing?