God twitters creation

God: Gosh its dark in here.
7 days ago

God: There thats better.
7 days ago

God: Hey guys im finally on twitter! Whats up?
7 days ago

God: guys?
7 days ago

God: oh right. i’m the only thing in existence, haha.
7 days ago

God: shut up i wasnt talking 2 you RT @Satan I TOO EXIST
7 days ago

God: BOOORREEDD with endless void gonna make some stuff
7 days ago

God: Hey look what I did today! Separated the darkness from the light. Universe looks like a black and white cookie.
7 days ago

God: I shall call the light day and the darkness Eileen.
7 days ago

God: Darkness doesnt look like an Eileen. Lets go with night
7 days ago

God: Also i created heaven & earth.
7 days ago

God: also i created apostrophes but im not gonna use them
7 days ago

God: thats enough creating for now. Catch ya tomorrow
7 days ago

God: RT @Satan: WHAT IS “TOMORROW”
7 days ago

God: oh i forgot 2 mention i created time too. Busy day.
7 days ago

God: kind of lame creating 2day. Created a firmament. Not sure what that is
6 days ago

God: OMme so much 2 do 2day you guys! Got to bring 4th land from the waters AND create plants and trees. What should i do first?!
5 days ago

God: should have done land first. plants sank
5 days ago

God: fixed! Trees now ON TOP of land.
5 days ago

God: sorry no tweets yesterday guys. Made the sun moon & stars. turned out 2 be more work than i expected. Theyre bigger than they look
3 days ago

God: another busy day. Made @beastsofthesea, @birdsoftheair, and best of all: @penguins. Those turned out so well.
3 days ago

God: made some more kinds of penguins.
3 days ago

God: Poll: What else should i make? a. beasts of the land b. creatures in my own image c. more penguins
2 days ago

God: Answer my poll!
2 days ago

God: maybe it was a mistake to create the internet b4 invention of computers
2 days ago

God: all right penguins it is. Yay!
2 days ago

God: oops. Penguins don’t like the desert.
2 days ago

God: or Indiana.
2 days ago

God: or the sky.
2 days ago

God: ill try the rainforest. Everything thrives in the rainforest.
2 days ago

God: Not penguins.
2 days ago

God: screw it. Made a bunch of other beasts of the land. Not as awesome as penguins but much less picky.
2 days ago

God: also created fake fossils and planted them in the ground 2 make the earth appear much older than it is. Just a little practical joke.
2 days ago

God: i need more followers.
2 days ago

God: #FollowFriday @adam @eve
2 days ago

God: @adam @eve I am the LORD your God who separated the light from the darkness. You shall have no other God before me for I am the LORD your Go
2 days ago

God: &#$%ing character limits. Point is, yay! I made you! Hi! Do what i say.
2 days ago

God: @adam: such as #noteatingapples.
2 days ago

God: @adam what do u mean why? Because im ur god and i said so.
2 days ago

God: @adam why r u bugging me about this? u can have all the mangoes u want and theyre way better.
2 days ago

God: @adam well youre just going to have to take my word for it.
2 days ago

God: @adam WHAT is ur DAMAGE with this apple thing? Eves not tweeting about apples. Shes just off – um –
2 days ago

God: @eve Hey!
2 days ago

God: @adam @eve: EPIC FAIL at #noteatingapples. Both of u r BANNED
2 days ago

God: so yesterday was really stressful. Im taking a break today. No more tweets til tomorrow.
1 day ago

God: Check it out, baby panda sneezing! http://tr.im/DsZ5 (took a break from my break to create YouTube.)
1 day ago

Hey internet! Thanks for checking out my mashup of Twitter and sacrilege. If you liked this you can follow my actual Twitter and I’ll let you know when I have a new entry. And hey, while you’re here check out some of my other stuff. Some of it is pretty funny too. My mom likes the wedding announcement one. Anyway, thanks for stopping by. You guys are awesome! Especially you, Dutch people. Ik houd van u, Nederlandse mensen!
Love, Melinda