Category Archives: fake television procedural pitch

If Our Current Attitudes Toward Privacy Had Existed Before The Internet

By melindataub | Published: January 12, 2011
Wife: Here’s your new credit card. It just came in the mail. Husband: Great. Let me call up a stranger and read him my credit card number and PIN. Wife: Good idea. That way if you forget, he can remind you. Husband: Oh, and I’d better conference in an offshore backup stranger in Estonia. Can’t be too careful. *** Father [...]
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Hogwarts Addresses the Childhood Obesity Epidemic

By melindataub | Published: December 14, 2009
To: All students From: Madam Pomfrey, School Nurse Parchment re: Student Health All of us on the faculty and staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry take seriously our commitment to our students, and we strive to make sure that only three or four of you die a year. But since Voldemort was defeated another problem has [...]
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New Halloween urban legends for today’s paranoid parents

By melindataub | Published: October 28, 2009
When I was a kid my parents, like everyone else’s parents, diligently spent hours going over my Halloween candy with a magnifying glass to make sure no one had stuck a needle through my Mars bars. Every parent knew they had to do this because it was an accepted fact that hundreds of kids died [...]
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Coming next fall to CBS

By melindataub | Published: September 18, 2009
Those of you who don’t know me personally may be surprised to learn that I am neither rich nor famous. (I am, however, just as cute as you’d assume.) My current plan to rectify this is to go where the money is: television crime procedurals. CSI, NCIS, the lesser Law and Orders: these are the [...]
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