LUKE
You’re wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you’ll learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it… I have it… and… my sister has it.
Leia stares into his eyes. What she sees there frightens her. But she doesn’t draw away. She begins to understand.
LUKE
Yes. It’s you, Leia.
LEIA
I know. Somehow… I’ve always kno — wait, what? We’re brother and
sister?
LUKE
Uh huh. Then you know why I have to face Vader to –
LEIA
Yeah, put a pin in that. Right now we’re going to need to discuss the fact that you and I are BROTHER and SISTER.
LUKE
Now’s not really the time, I kind of have to go save the galaxy –
LEIA
WE MADE OUT.
LUKE
I was really hoping you wouldn’t bring that up.
LEIA
I made out with my brother. A guy had a crush on me, and it was my brother. My boyfriend thinks I’m sleeping with my brother.
LUKE
You and Han are going steady now? That’s nice.
LEIA
Don’t change the subject. You know, I also just found out that my father is space Hitler, and that’s only the second most disturbing piece of family news I’ve gotten today.
LUKE
Look. First of all, stop shuddering and retching.
LEIA
I will never stop that.
LUKE
Second of all, it’s not such a big deal. There was never really anything between us — you moved on long ago with Han, and when I found out about our family I immediately thought of you as a sister.
LEIA
Really? You’re totally over it?
LUKE
Really.
LEIA
Okay. Maybe you’re right. Maybe we can just start over as siblings and forget the time I had my tongue down your throat.
LUKE
Totally. Hey, sis!
LEIA
Hey, bro!
She punches him in the arm. They smile at each other.
LEIA
Wait, when did you find out about this?
LUKE
Um… just after we got back from Jabba’s palace.
LEIA
But that was a month ago! Oh God, I found pictures of me in the gold bikini on your hard drive last Tuesday!
LUKE
I can explain! I was — starting a family scrapbook.
LEIA
OH COME ON.
LUKE
Okay, you got me. I can’t stop. Ever since I saw that hologram of you you’ve been my dream girl. I tried to forget about it when I found out we were siblings, but do you have any idea how hard it is to give up your favorite masturbation fantasy cold turkey?
LEIA
Jesus damn Christ, Skywalker!
LUKE
I know, I’m disgusting!
LEIA
Ahh!
LUKE
Ahh!
Leia throws up over the side of the rope bridge. A moment later an ewok’s cry drifts up through the night air as vomit lands on its head.
LUKE
So, I’m going to go on this suicide mission now.
An extended scene from Return of the Jedi
LUKE
You’re wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you’ll learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it… I have it… and… my sister has it.
Leia stares into his eyes. What she sees there frightens her. But she doesn’t draw away. She begins to understand.
LUKE
Yes. It’s you, Leia.
LEIA
I know. Somehow… I’ve always kno — wait, what? We’re brother and
sister?
LUKE
Uh huh. Then you know why I have to face Vader to –
LEIA
Yeah, put a pin in that. Right now we’re going to need to discuss the fact that you and I are BROTHER and SISTER.
LUKE
Now’s not really the time, I kind of have to go save the galaxy –
LEIA
WE MADE OUT.
LUKE
I was really hoping you wouldn’t bring that up.
LEIA
I made out with my brother. A guy had a crush on me, and it was my brother. My boyfriend thinks I’m sleeping with my brother.
LUKE
You and Han are going steady now? That’s nice.
LEIA
Don’t change the subject. You know, I also just found out that my father is space Hitler, and that’s only the second most disturbing piece of family news I’ve gotten today.
LUKE
Look. First of all, stop shuddering and retching.
LEIA
I will never stop that.
LUKE
Second of all, it’s not such a big deal. There was never really anything between us — you moved on long ago with Han, and when I found out about our family I immediately thought of you as a sister.
LEIA
Really? You’re totally over it?
LUKE
Really.
LEIA
Okay. Maybe you’re right. Maybe we can just start over as siblings and forget the time I had my tongue down your throat.
LUKE
Totally. Hey, sis!
LEIA
Hey, bro!
She punches him in the arm. They smile at each other.
LEIA
Wait, when did you find out about this?
LUKE
Um… just after we got back from Jabba’s palace.
LEIA
But that was a month ago! Oh God, I found pictures of me in the gold bikini on your hard drive last Tuesday!
LUKE
I can explain! I was — starting a family scrapbook.
LEIA
OH COME ON.
LUKE
Okay, you got me. I can’t stop. Ever since I saw that hologram of you you’ve been my dream girl. I tried to forget about it when I found out we were siblings, but do you have any idea how hard it is to give up your favorite masturbation fantasy cold turkey?
LEIA
Jesus damn Christ, Skywalker!
LUKE
I know, I’m disgusting!
LEIA
Ahh!
LUKE
Ahh!
Leia throws up over the side of the rope bridge. A moment later an ewok’s cry drifts up through the night air as vomit lands on its head.
LUKE
So, I’m going to go on this suicide mission now.
LEIA
That’s probably best.